Who says you need to clean up your own backyard? The house that rugby league built is a historic quagmire of mess and apparently that is the way they like it.
The Adelaide Rams and Western Reds sit in the corner of the yard wrapped in tarps like prehistoric automobiles. The Reds still kick over off course, but who really wants to see Perth work?
Obviously not the owners of the house.
It’s a nice enough neighbourhood. Despite this Demetriou guy buying up all these properties around us, off course. We kicked David Gallop out and now he is across the road having the time of his life with an Italian and a Pom.
There are a few cocky Queenslanders renting a room upstairs. The noise is relentless and it doesn’t matter how many times you try and shut them up, they just get louder and louder.
Doesn’t help when they keep inviting these New Zealanders over.
Despite a sign on the front door stating “No religious types”, some old bloke with two books keeps knocking in a Melbourne Storm jumper.
Watch out for the crazed Rooster, too. Do not get in a cockfight with him. He sure can send a mean picture message.
Forget having a beer or a barbeque as well. A chopper keeps flying over head with the World’s biggest camera attached to it. You can almost see a crazed cigar-toting David Gyngell holding the camera if you look closely enough.
You cant forget the blind guys in pink up in the attic, either. Don’t ever leave them to make a decision. They smell funny too. We’ll give them the benefit of the doubt though.
All the while John Grant sits lavishly on the porch with his feet in a kiddies swimming pool having the time of his life. You can hear the chants coming from inside the house.
“Clean up the house, John!” the voice roars.
“I will do it next week.”
He hasn’t realised that the kids across the road are playing footy on the front lawn. But something is different this time. They’re the same kids, but the Wests Tigers and Penrith Panthers jerseys have been replaced by Sydney Swans and Collingwood guernseys. The Steeden replaced by the Sherrin.
Grant doesn’t seem to care.
A Billion Dollars can do a lot of things. But obviously it cant buy us a nice home.